I have been contemplating basic beliefs and clarifying longings for relationship and community as I explore the roots of being here in Vancouver BC. Having chosen to live for a time in the land of my birth, a place I have not lived in for over 40 years, where I hardly know anyone, and where I purposely left behind all my support systems, power objects that identified me such as a car, art and things of history, as well as all the trappings of my previous career except for the Apple computer!!! As I deepen into solitude as a person that loves community and has made a career of creating healing process and movement love-ins (always the sixties child that believes groups can merge into love and be nourished by the invisible forces of the universe) I find myself sharing myself with people of the world not just selected students and privileged friends.
I ride buses (havent done that in 40 years I believe) and I notice and feel love for those struggling with poverty, handicaps, the elderly (I am getting to be one of them at 67 however my health makes me feel and live like 35 or younger), the young, the indigenous, the workers and the bus drivers also, and feel connected in a wider stream as I release a life lived for so long in the company of those with resources and passion and excitement for life and learning. There are many who do not feel this passion to grow and experience. I ask Why?
I find myself asking questions. What is loneliness? What is intimacy? What is community? What is solitude? Inquiry is becoming a way of life where I have time for reverie. I found intimacy in long term depth relationships with students as they sought to know and heal themselves. Yes I have long term and deep family and friend relationships however there is something rich and noble in the mentoring role and as a person who chooses to walk the path of life without a partner I enjoy a signature relationship with each student of life who seeks guidance and support.
Community thrives in my heart when it emerges beyond vested interests and power/dominance struggles so I choose community carefully and in small doses, retreating when I feel those energies rising. I belong to several communities and I lightly come and go as group agreements are often limiting and projections affect one's sense of freedom to be who you are.
As to solitude there is no such thing in my world as I am always in the company of soul, the one great and true relationship. I cherish the growth of the soul and nourish it well in hours of solitude and find its presence within me is the fertile source of all offerings.
As a human being I love to explore the opposites and then reside in neutral ground whenever I can. When I get swept off neutral I become uncomfortable and I can accept that for a while until I need to speak the truth, release, do the work, and return to neutral balance and my essential way of being, for that is what supports the solitude and all relationships.
As I shared processes born of inner explorations I felt the deepening in the students and know that my offerings are a gift to their journey. The best kind of intimacy. The best kind of community. Knowing and being known is intimacy. Sharing that knowing and being known is commuity. With knowing and being known there is no loneliness only the choice of solitude to nourish both intimacy and community.
Sharing a moment with the standing stones at the Star House Community in the mountains above Boulder, where one feels the weight of depth at the same time as swirling in the heavens. For several years we enjoyed our School of Natural Medicine herbal classes here and I participated in dances and activities from the time of its creation when I lived in Gold Hill.
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